BeforeTheBang

This is a comment that I posted on Ed Stetzer’s blog post, The Southern Baptist Convention: A Denomination (continuing) in its Decline,  about a year and a half ago. I wanted to post the contents of that comment here because I feel it’s still relevant and it pretty much stands on its own.

I’ll expound on it more in the next couple days (I already have a draft post that’s pretty long), but for now this will stand unedited:

I was raised AG, but have been SBC for the past seven years. I love the idea of the cooperative program. I love my church family. I love my pastor who expositionally preaches the full gospel and doesn’t shy away from the convicting words of Christ. I’m blessed to have been discipled by a few godly men in our church.

That being said, my heart is broken. There are so many divisive battles taking place, too many old souls unwilling to adjust, too many young souls unwilling to learn. I’ve seen too many inter-church relationships destroyed in such spectacular form, that the fallout poisons anyone around. My heart is broken because we no longer live the Great Commission. There are lost people next door, across the street, and around the world, yet, we are tearing ourselves apart out of pride and jealousy: religiously defending our calvinism, arminianism, Driscoll, MacArthur, patriotism and capitalism (the new idolatries), traditional, contemporary, legalism, grace, young men’s disrespect for old men, old men’s unwillingness to teach young men… I could go on and on.

We have proven ourselves to be a passionate people! Why aren’t we as passionate about Jesus? People are dying around us. People are hurting. People are searching (sure, culture is in a downward spiral, but they’re still searching). People are going to hell… and yet we know WHO IS the cure!

Our pride has blackened our hearts. God is so gracious to have not turned His back on us completely, because we are in no spiritual state to be calling ourselves His followers. But in mockery, we do.

Jesus called us to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow him. He commanded us to go and make disciples. He wants us to love. He told us to obey.
But, we cannot follow One whom we don’t know, we cannot make disciples when we are not, we cannot love with the hate that fills our hearts, and we don’t obey because we won’t focus on the One who commands.

Young people are leaving the SBC because they aren’t finding what truly satisfies. It’s not about how many souls we can save (as if it’s not God’s decision), or having a rock concert in the contemporary service (or even having a contemporary service), or hearing people fight (often from the pulpit) about who is MORE theologically correct.
They want Jesus.
They need Jesus.

I am called to missions. I used to believe my calling was to East Africa/West Asia, but I’m realizing more and more that my mission field is right here, both in my secular workplace and in my church.

Painfully,
Nate

I’m starting this post with a goal of actually hitting the Publish button. You see there’s a few scraps in the draft category, but for whatever reason, I haven’t pushed them out.

I don’t know if it’s just that I feel my thoughts are incomplete, my thoughts are too far off base, or my thoughts are just mindless drivel to which no one should have to be exposed. It’s probably a mixture of all three and more reasons I can’t yet identify.

The other issue is that it has been quite a while since I’ve actually written in a public place. I used to post quite a bit on another blog, and I still write in my journal (with actual paper and pen), but to get in the habit of making private thoughts public takes a bit of intestinal fortitude that I’m not sure I still have.

I think that’s as far as I can get right now without feeling like I should just keep pressing Save Draft.

Publish.

A new post, or rather a series of posts, is coming. It has been 2 years in the making, so there is quite a bit to unpack and outline.

Hang tight…

I love calling Comcast almost as much as I love calling the IRS.

About three weeks ago, my Comcast leased modem went out, so I called to have them switch my service to my own self-owned modem. Today, I got my bill and noticed that the $3.00 modem rental (plus the $0.28 Equipment Sales Tax) was still on my bill. I called 1-800-COMCAST hoping I could find a quick resolution to my problem.

1:58 – This is the time it took to listen to the “Hello” message by Ben Stein, navigate the automated menu (press 2 for billing), answer the question about satisfaction survey, and finally be put on hold.

4:29 – This is the time it took for me to be picked up by a Real™ person. It’s kind of sad to say that this is an improvement. Normally it takes longer to reach a real person, but then again, normally, I’m not calling billing, and normally I call when I’m having service issues, lots of other people are calling too.

13:15 – This is the total time I spent on the phone waiting for billing support, explaining my issue, and waiting for it to be resolved.

(Times listed are in mm:ss format)

I’m not actually upset or anything, just analyzing. This was actually a much better experience than most that I’ve had with Comcast.

• The wife and I bought Ticket to Ride cause it’s an awesome board game. We like games.
• I can’t keep my girl dog from jumping into the little fence I have around the tomato plant and air conditioner. She keeps wanting to dig up the plant and chew on the insulation on the air conditioner. Next up… electricity.
• My honey-do list is mega long… so long that I feel like I can’t catch up, which I know is impossible. It’s sometimes overwhelming, along with the rest of life.
• Speaking of overwhelmed, I feel several weeks behind at work. Trying to catchup without destroying my marriage :)
• I’m in the middle of reading three books right now.
  • Richard Stearns’s A Hole in Our Gospel // Amazing, but taking a long time to work through. I’ll be reviewing it soon, but the book is thick with heavy stuff.
  • Matthew Paul Turner’s What You Didn’t Learn from Your Parents About: Sex: A Guide to a Touchy Subject // Fast read. It’s been fun to read with the wife :)
  • Max Lucado’s Fearless // I’m about halfway through this book. Review will be coming on September 1st (same day as the book releases). I can say this, I don’t know if there is another story teller like Max Lucado.

Life is too busy sometimes. I would love to be on a ranch in Montana right now…

As much as I don’t want to, I’ll admit it; I’m a creature of habit. I eat the same food when I go to a familiar restaurant. I follow the same routine when getting ready for the day. I shop at the same grocery store every week. I like to think I walk by the beat of my own drum, but I don’t. I’m predictable.

I’ve been going to the same guys for tire service, oil changes, and minor car maintenance for a few years now. They were great! Prompt service, honest, fair prices, free wi-fi and coffee all had me convinced that I had found a gem of a locally owned shop who I could trust, even if my wife had to take one of the cars instead of me. I liked these guys so much, I even sent my friends (they say referral business is the best).

All of that changed today.

Saturday, 3 days ago, I noticed that one of my tires was running a little low. I stopped in at a gas station to add air, and while I was there I had my wife turn the wheel all the way to one side and roll the car while I examined both sidewalls and tread looking for any obvious problems. I finally found a small nail (like a finish nail) in the middle of the tread. Other than the slow leak, there were no obvious problems on this tire that was only a couple months old with less than 10,000 miles on it, so I added air and went on my way.

This morning, I took my car up to the usual shop on my way to work to have them do an oil change and fix the leak in the tire. About 20 minutes into it, the owner called me out to the pit to look at the tire. When I got out there, there was a fine cut all the way around the tire on the outside of the inner sidewall. “You must have driven on it while it was flat”, he said. “Fortunately we have two of those tires in stock and we’ll fix it right up. Unfortunately, it’s not under warranty since it’s on the sidewall.”

Now, I’m not ASE certified, but I also didn’t fall off the baby wagon yesterday. I’ve seen (and participated in) rim cuts from driving on a flat or low tire, and this didn’t fit.

I went ahead and told them to replace the one tire (since it absolutely had to be done now) and do the oil change. I also went back out to look at the tire again, just to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.

When they finished and I went to the counter to pay, I was sick to my stomach. When the owner rang up the $50 tire, mount and balance, tire disposal fee, and oil change, I was going to have to pay two and a half times as much as I intended. I brought up a few points to him:

• The tire never actually went flat. There was a slow leak and it got a little low, but it was never flat, much less driven on while flat.
• There was a nail in the tread, which I assumed was causing the slow leak.
• The cut was on the inside of the tire, but not the outside. Also, the rubber showed no signs of wearing or rubbing as most tires do when driven while flat.
• The cut was clean. Cuts made by the steel rim are large, rough, and consistant. This cut was fine: even surgical; Inconsistant: the cut made a wavy, jagged, and broken line around the tire; and shallow: just deep enough to get under the outer skin, but not enough to touch the inner wall and reinforcement.

After these points were brought up, he blithely said, “Well, watch this tire and if it gives you any problem, I’ll slap a new one on for free.” That’s all well and good, but I had a problem right now.

It was then that I informed him, that I had examined the same tire three days ago and the cut wasn’t there. He looked at me, and I held his eyes… looking for something more than a promise of future help if needed. “I’ll tell you what I’ll do”, he says. “I’m going to go ahead and comp your oil change today, that way it’ll come out about even” (it hardly came out even. The final price was still double what I was expecting to pay for an oil change and a tire repair). I agreed to that, just eager to be on my way. The knot in my stomach was growing stronger the longer I was in the shop.

This story still has me sick. It’s not about the money. I would have cheerfully paid, had I thought the cost was justified. My pain comes from having my trust violated. I know the media and the president say that the economy is bad, and I know times are tough for business big and small, but you can’t build a successful business when your customers can’t trust you. I can’t send my wife to that shop. I definitely won’t refer friends.

The cost of losing this customer because of distrustful actions is much greater than the monetary gain from that action.

-

I have a disease. It runs in my family, but I can’t say it’s genetic. It’s not contagious, but it can influence others. It is easily destructive, but monitarily profitable most of the time. That disease is workaholism.

Like I said, this disease runs in my family. I’ve watched my dad, grandpa, and brother all struggle with it. Sometimes, it has been very profitable for us (hard work always pays off), but I’ve also seen it be extremely hard on families. In my own life, I take my job very seriously and personally. This often involves working late (whether from home or at the office), and even when I’m home, I’m not actually home. There’s always something else to research, some news to read, or a personal project to stretch and grow my skilllset.

All of this has definitely come at a cost. Personal time with my wife has suffered at times, health is questionable when you’re pumping your body with caffine to deprive it from sleep, but mostly, my mind hasn’t had the opportunity to process life’s big (or little) questions.

So, after six and a half years, I have finally taken the plunge and we are taking a vacation. We arrived last night and have had the most enjoyable twenty-four hours we’ve had in a very long time: playing in the water, digging in the sand, eating great seafood, sitting here with a calm mind and a glass of wine. I have definitely needed this for quite a while.

I may not be a wise man, full of advice and proverbs, but I will say this to all the workaholics in the world: Take a Vacation. Get away from your home, your job, anything that makes you in your element and find a place to recuperate. This means that you must turn off your Blackberry (leave it in the condo while you’re out), turn off your email (or leave the laptop at home), and enjoy the time with loved ones in God’s creation. We even invited another married couple (some very dear friends) to come with us, and that has made our time even more enjoyable.

The release and relief that has come from this trip is unmatched by any “relaxing” weekend at home.

Bottom line, take the time to take a vacation. Don’t wait six and a half years and use excuses like, “work/church/whatever needs me”, “we can just relax here at home”, or “we can’t afford it” It doesn’t have to be long (we’ll be here Friday through Monday) or expensive, but it just has to be away. Your family and your body will appreciate the effort.

I immensely enjoy my music. Driving to and from work, most of the time, you’ll find me with my laptop plugged in, wearing out whatever album I’ve recently acquired (For the past few weeks it’s been The Avett Brothers – “Emotionalism”… not old yet). I have no problem with the whoosh of the windows down on the highway, the hum of the tires on the pavement, or even the occasional honk of a fellow disturbed commuter. There is, however, one thing that spoils my musical delight… The Turn Signal.

Photo by Aaron Landry

The Turn Signal is an especially unique device. Even though it automatically turns off after most turns, the incessant, but distinctive

click..click..click..click..click

refuses to give up. It somehow seems to weasel its way to the top of any music, regardless of the volume, speed, or genre. I’ve had an idea for a few years, but just now, I feel the need to document my idea due to certain other ideas being executed in bittersweet fashion.

Turn signals need to click in sync with whatever music is playing at the moment. There should be a beat detector built into the entertainment system that would trigger the turn signal relay on beat with a song. It could also flash to some fraction of the actual timing (1:4, 1:3, 2:1, etc) to keep the signal relay alternating at somewhere near 2-3 Hz.

I would license this idea to Honda if they approached me about it.

Bonus feature: The signal could operate in syncopated rhythm during disco, ska, and reggae genres.